OMGGGGG....Bloggers,
Can you believe it has been almost two years since a sista wrote on her blog!
Now, do not think I did not have a lot to say?
It's just that I have been going through some unfamiliar territory in my mind, body and soul for some time....
See, it all started after I wrote this letter to arch angel Michael after I had been going to this wicca class.
Soon after my life changed in so many ways.
That dark place showed up... that place is a place I would not wish on any one I can think of past or present. The dark is something only the person going through can describe. It is like no other, BUT when you walk with The Creator God you will come out!
But, you gotta walk.
I went in thinking "oh I'll be out of this soon", besides I had been through 'rough times' before, I'm thinking, "I got this". The dark came, came in all sorts of ways. Then as this 'Force' walked with me, I discovered that the dark was my past.( read those last five words again) All the stuff I had been through as a young child and young adult were looking me right in the face as an adult. I tried to run and hide in every corner, but there was no safe place. I tried to blame people, the people I blamed prospered. I was so angry at God. I was mad at God because when I went 'in' the past and saw all of the foul, disgusting things that had happened, I asked God, "why"? Why did You let those grown up snatch pieces of my body? Why did you give me a mother and father who would just give me up so freely and easily? Why did you put me in a neighborhood with people who do not understand my light? Why?
As I was 'led', I began to discover answers piece by piece. I learned that in all those moments God The Creator had me the entire time and that I went through of all of that trauma in childhood to prepare me for the presence. I saw the cries of the people that came after me and at times it seemed as if I was the only one listening, so I began to get it. God said that God needs me to help ignite the LIGHTS, But still I was angry.
The angry was real but hidden. I wore the mask. The smile got them every time, but inside a sista felt like she could not go on another day. I would wake up feeling like "why am I waking up..what is it that I am here to do"? I had not one clue. I would pray, get angry, turn away and repeat. I would hear God's voice saying it would be alright and to keep on moving. So many people in my outside world would always give me confirmation, rather it be someone saying almost the exact same words I would hear in my mind, something on television, a song, a social media post, etc. It took days, months, years, blood, sweat, tears, mustard seed FAITH and my family team..... a SISTA is still Here.
Thank God, Angels, Universe, Jesus, Ancestors, Elders....
Thank God.
Love and Light.
-Je'vah
